http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_BoZ_Qdyl0
This is for you Jason!!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Party Time!
Tonight Koko had her birthday party. Yes, it is a little late but this was the first weekend that was open. First her baptism, then conference then Easter. . . 
The girls had a blast!
They made their own pizza, played games and ate cake and ice cream! Sounds like a great party to me!! It was a slumber party. One kiddo stayed the night and the rest went home around 10 p.m.
Silly little girls + flower!
Just in case you couldn't tell, they are tigers!
For such cute girls they sure do look ferocious!!
These are Koko's beautiful flowers. Goodlife's family gave them to her for her baptism.
For such cute girls they sure do look ferocious!! 
These are Koko's beautiful flowers. Goodlife's family gave them to her for her baptism.General Conference!
April fourth and fifth was General Conference for our church. I was so excited this year! I was able to go to the temple Friday night and really be prepared to hear the council of our living Apostles and Prophets! I am so grateful that we can get instruction and be uplifted through them from our Father in Heaven. I printed out some activities for the girls.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
bugz
Koko performed in a play tonight! It was called bugz! They were the cutest little bugs you ever will see! She did a great job! She was a firefly. I think there were six or so. They wore all white and had neon green ummmm things tied on their wrists. When their song came on they turned on a black light and dimmed the other lights. It looked so cool! Because the average second grader is about a foot and a half shorter than Koko, I was a little hard to hear her sing. She had a duet on one of the verses! She said it was so hard to bend down to try to sing in the microphone and wave her firefly arms!
So the pictures are pretty crappy! I am so sad! I used Michael's digital camera because it can recorded longer that mine can. Evidently you have to use a tripod with it! If there is any movement at all the picture looks blurry! Bay was totally freaked out by all the people. I was so thankful our dear friends came with us! Good life was able to take over on some pics while I was dealing with my dear sweet little darling angel of a two year old!
I can't even use the "wonderful" video capability of the stinkin camera! My computer won't play them! Real nice. I am sure that it is an operator error and when Michael gets home he will touch one button and the video will magically appear!
Picture update!
Pics from when my parents came.
Pics of girls and Great Grandma Sally.
KOKO's baptism day!
Pics of girls and Great Grandma Sally. KOKO's baptism day!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Let's try this again! But first a side note!
Some of you might be wondering what the heck is going on with me right now! I am wondering that myself! I have been treated for OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, depression and now more recently the past year anxiety. The more stress I have, the worse these things get. Plus, I seem to have a cycle, or my brain chemicals do. Last January and February I had my time of sleeping all night, waking up enough to get Koko off to school and the other two breakfast and a movie on, then sleeping for most of the day. Lou got pretty good at learning the remote control and changing DVDs! Well, I made it through that period!
After seeing the Psychiatrist biweekly, she is getting to know me pretty well. After going in Monday she started asking a lot of questions. Then she had me fill out a questioner on Adult ADD or ADHD. Needless to say, I got a 100%. She could see some of the symptoms. She noticed I always rub my fingernails and cuticles (goodlife totally notices it) I don't even realize I am doing it, I talk a lot and sometimes say random awkward things, get off track easily, have her repeat things. . . and so on. These are fairly normal things but when you put them all together with other symptoms it make complete sense! She really thinks that I have been miss diagnosed with OCD. See many of the symptoms overlap. The reasons for doing things that seem OCDish are completely different. Like doing things in a certain order; OCD way you just have to do it in that order, ADD way you have to do it in order or you will forget. Then if you don't do them in order your world falls apart because you just can't remember! The anxiety increases then you get angry at your 2 yr old because you can't remember if you washed her hair or not. When it would be totally rational to wash her hair (maybe again), but you just freeze! You get more and more angry and anxious and tension builds in the house. So now the depression is in full force. When I forget, can't find, or get distracted I just cry! My world stops and I just cry. Today I made it until about 5:00 (5:00p.m. lol-yes, sometimes I didn't make it til 5:00 a.m.!) with out crying! I kind of lost it a little after that, but it is progress! It wasn't as bad as the past while! I was pretty good at hiding it but not so much lately!
You know its bad when your dad and mom fly here in about two days notice!! I was so thankful for them making that sacrificing. It was so hard for them to go! sniff sniff... Then Grandma Sally came. That has been planned for about a year! Again it was so hard for her to go. more sniff sniff sniff... Then Pete, Gail and Marie came. Again the depart was not so good. It sucks because when I was not able to function, they could step in. I know, I know some of you are thinking I totally could have called you. It isn't so easy asking someone to come take care of your family because you can't. You know, in the middle of this I didn't even know what I needed! Sometimes, well most of time I just want to run away. I just can't take care of the girls or my husband. Others could do it so much better. Just to make things clear, I didn't want to die or anything, just go away. Sleep or whatever in a hotel.
Since a house can't function like this, somethings gotta give. Hence the many visits to the Psych. BTW, I really like this doctor! She is great. A friend from church informed me about her. I am so thankful she shared this info! I could totally hang out with her yet she is assertive and remembers she is the DR.!! Many times it takes a little (or a lot) of time to get on the right track with behavioral therapy and medicine. I have been taking Prozac for about 5 years now. After this discovery Monday, I won't be taking it anymore! I am on different medicine now. The good news is that I hopefully won't have to take them long term. We just have to get the depression and this vicious cycle under control. Some may disagree with medicine. That's ok! This is too far out of control not to get that kind of help! I hope that explains a little. I do not share this to get sympathy or for others to feel sorry for me, just give an explanation!
Back to Koko! lol
I can't believe she is 8 and Baptised! I am proud of her making the decision. She is so smart. She is so in tune with the spirit. Maybe it is because she has had to grow up so quickly because of her lack of a stable mother?? That part is going to change!
Lou was so excited for her. It was so neat to watch her watch Koko!
Oh and guess what, she even recited the scripture we have been challenged to memorize by our stake. If the children do this they get to sign a beautiful picture frame given to our stake. To get to sign, they can recite it to a member of our ward Primary presidency. She asked if that counted! I totally think so! Especially since the stake pres. was there herself! It really doesn't surprise me she memorized the scripture, it totally was surprising she was able to recite it in front of all those people.
You go girl!
After seeing the Psychiatrist biweekly, she is getting to know me pretty well. After going in Monday she started asking a lot of questions. Then she had me fill out a questioner on Adult ADD or ADHD. Needless to say, I got a 100%. She could see some of the symptoms. She noticed I always rub my fingernails and cuticles (goodlife totally notices it) I don't even realize I am doing it, I talk a lot and sometimes say random awkward things, get off track easily, have her repeat things. . . and so on. These are fairly normal things but when you put them all together with other symptoms it make complete sense! She really thinks that I have been miss diagnosed with OCD. See many of the symptoms overlap. The reasons for doing things that seem OCDish are completely different. Like doing things in a certain order; OCD way you just have to do it in that order, ADD way you have to do it in order or you will forget. Then if you don't do them in order your world falls apart because you just can't remember! The anxiety increases then you get angry at your 2 yr old because you can't remember if you washed her hair or not. When it would be totally rational to wash her hair (maybe again), but you just freeze! You get more and more angry and anxious and tension builds in the house. So now the depression is in full force. When I forget, can't find, or get distracted I just cry! My world stops and I just cry. Today I made it until about 5:00 (5:00p.m. lol-yes, sometimes I didn't make it til 5:00 a.m.!) with out crying! I kind of lost it a little after that, but it is progress! It wasn't as bad as the past while! I was pretty good at hiding it but not so much lately!
You know its bad when your dad and mom fly here in about two days notice!! I was so thankful for them making that sacrificing. It was so hard for them to go! sniff sniff... Then Grandma Sally came. That has been planned for about a year! Again it was so hard for her to go. more sniff sniff sniff... Then Pete, Gail and Marie came. Again the depart was not so good. It sucks because when I was not able to function, they could step in. I know, I know some of you are thinking I totally could have called you. It isn't so easy asking someone to come take care of your family because you can't. You know, in the middle of this I didn't even know what I needed! Sometimes, well most of time I just want to run away. I just can't take care of the girls or my husband. Others could do it so much better. Just to make things clear, I didn't want to die or anything, just go away. Sleep or whatever in a hotel.
Since a house can't function like this, somethings gotta give. Hence the many visits to the Psych. BTW, I really like this doctor! She is great. A friend from church informed me about her. I am so thankful she shared this info! I could totally hang out with her yet she is assertive and remembers she is the DR.!! Many times it takes a little (or a lot) of time to get on the right track with behavioral therapy and medicine. I have been taking Prozac for about 5 years now. After this discovery Monday, I won't be taking it anymore! I am on different medicine now. The good news is that I hopefully won't have to take them long term. We just have to get the depression and this vicious cycle under control. Some may disagree with medicine. That's ok! This is too far out of control not to get that kind of help! I hope that explains a little. I do not share this to get sympathy or for others to feel sorry for me, just give an explanation!
Back to Koko! lol
I can't believe she is 8 and Baptised! I am proud of her making the decision. She is so smart. She is so in tune with the spirit. Maybe it is because she has had to grow up so quickly because of her lack of a stable mother?? That part is going to change!
Lou was so excited for her. It was so neat to watch her watch Koko!
Oh and guess what, she even recited the scripture we have been challenged to memorize by our stake. If the children do this they get to sign a beautiful picture frame given to our stake. To get to sign, they can recite it to a member of our ward Primary presidency. She asked if that counted! I totally think so! Especially since the stake pres. was there herself! It really doesn't surprise me she memorized the scripture, it totally was surprising she was able to recite it in front of all those people.
You go girl!
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